Oh, Dave!
***
I try to forget all the searing pain. That past is lost to me now, and I can only rely on the present. Mindless wandering on the plateau of past realities only distorts the now with that angst.
I fear the false hope of a beautiful now.
I fight the tears that choke up my breathing and forever cloud the horizon of my life. It’s not merely self pity now. I cannot abide at the enormity of his wrongly directed doing and non-doing.
Was I so wrong to fear him once he had drunk of my blood? God, who gave him that right? He took it upon himself to assume I would gladly join him in his eternal form.
Yesterday I would have given the world to ban his memory from my plane.
I realize now he is forever etched in my veins. And yes, I do want it.
Oh, Dave, why don’t you come for me?
***