Nights on the Soul©

He was telling me of the time I’d spent at his house. The dreams. The realizations. How ready I’d been to be with him. So why did I feel so frightened now? Why did I not remember it all? I knew something had happened to make me block my memories. I knew I did not trust him, as much as I wanted to believe in him, I had the underlying feeling that he was out to hurt me.

“Dave,” I said. “Why do I fear you now?”

“You are closing your soul to me, Miranda. Everything I have told you is true. Do you know what truth is? Well, it’s different for everybody. Except the two people in the world who are one. You and I hold the same truth, why do you resist?”

“Why am I afraid?”

“You are afraid because you don’t want to admit to what you are. The base of yourself has gone through so many evolutions, it is hard to get back to your light essence. Your half soul was separated from God and from me, ME! Miranda! I realized my beginnings a very long time ago and have waited many long years for you to realize yours. For alone and incomplete I shall be until you unite yourself with me. I cannot make you see your own existence. You must recognize it yourself. Over many years I have found you and given you hints. Perhaps I’ve struck too young, before. But I know you are ready in this life. Defeat the present to know eternity!”

“Dammit Dave you always go off like a mad man and stop making sense. I know that I love you. But what the hell am I supposed to realize? Just what the fuck are you telling me? Why don’t you just make it fucking clear to me once and for all so I can make up my own fucking mind whether you’re fucking crazy or not! Because, believe me, I’ve about fucking had it with all of your loopy fucking inferences to all of your fucking great knowledge when what you say half the time doesn’t even make any fucking sense! I don’t fucking believe this!”

“Miranda. Listen to me calmly and closely. Open your mind to the belief in our reality. When I realized my soul, I ascended from my physical body. I became an entity of the sky and ceased living in time. I walk about this earth plane when I so choose, but am invisible to most. When I realized my soul in the body of Dave McKay, I embraced that namesake’s life form for all eternity. I watched my wife, my lovely Faith, grow old and die, while I lived on out of my body. I search for her soul every generation and she has incarnated in this life through you. When I am an entity, I am like the wind and the sea and the sky and the stars and life breathes through my nothingness. It is peaceful, the void of simply being. I need nothing and could stay forever in that state, but my soul mate calls to me from time to time and I wish to bring her to me so we may ascend together. It is very frightening to go through the realization, for here is what it means. When incarnated on the earth plane, I do not subsist as a human being. I have huge energy reserves to fill, those upon which I live in ascension, and from which I can survive for eons. However being on the earth plane tires me. It makes me hungry. My body no longer requires, nor could it even handle the daily food and drink of life. For my reserves, I require a different source of nutrition. I require blood.”

He stopped for a moment, perhaps to take into account my reaction. But at this point, I could not fathom the full reality of what he was revealing. I was waiting for more.

“And so,” he continued, “when I take bodily form upon this earth, I must sacrifice the lives of those far from reaching their realization so that I might survive. I require the blood so I might be seen, and so I may walk upon your plane as a mortal being. It is hard for me to come down. But I hear my mate call and the thirst and the hunger for her blood is the strongest. Once my mate reaches her realization and ascends with me, we may subsist on each other’s life force into eternity. When I drink the blood of the one who calls and does not come it drives me into such a state of fissure I cannot remain earthbound and take to the sky, whence I wait. I heard your call, Miranda and I have come for you.”

“What!?” I screamed. “You’ve come for me! What, are you supposed to be the prince on the white horse come to save me the fairy princess? Thanks, but no thanks. Actually, it sounds like you’re giving me a whole lot of fucking shit! A whole fucking fairy tale horror story. Are you trying to tell me you’re some kind of fucking virtuous vampire?”

“Miranda, darling. Your temper is volatile. Please calm down. In your lifetime, yes, I suppose I would be called a vampire. But it is such a primitive term, I shy away from using it, for I see the idea does not sit well with you. In fact, you do not even believe that what I am telling you is true. But truth it is, and you will realize it this time. I have loved you for your blood life many times. And now I wish to share mine with you. Do not deny that the thought is appealing, young one.”

I bit my tongue trying to hold back the explosion of words dying to get out. I tasted the salt of my blood and swallowed hard. It tickled my throat as it went down, then I started to choke on it. My body racked with the convulsions produced by air constriction. Dave stood serenely at ease merely watching with a slight smile upon his lips.

I remembered being at his house. I remembered the pet nibble. I remembered the wine, the soup, all of the liquid. I was thirsty and confused. In a flash I could accept what Dave said and offered but then morality set in and I was disgusted by his way of life. How could it be possible to take life without remorse? To steal the life blood of others for your own and not feel guilty. I thought of all the myths and legends I had heard of vampires, and an air of disbelief entered into my dealings with Dave McKay. How could this be true? Surely I was dreaming, or living some whacked out fantasy of unreality which I perceived to be real. Did he truly profess immortality and his method of remaining such or was I just imagining all of this?

“Miranda, my love. This is not meant to make you afraid. I only intend to let you see my way. It is a beautiful way. I am eternally happy in ascension, but it would give me infinite pleasure to share it with you. I love your soul and who you are. You deserve to be one with God and the air of life. It is not death to join me. It is not killing to release the blood of others for my existence. They will come back again, and perhaps be smarter for their mistakes. You see, we invite the death that comes to us. One becomes willing to give away their life blood in one life, but seeks to sustain it, in the next. To give up your life today makes you stronger in your re-birth, for some small part of your soul knows what is has done in its’ past life. They know, deep inside, that a greater state, such as mine, exists and can be attained. It does take many hours of deep contemplation before your realization. But when you give up the thought of the necessity of existing as matter upon this plane, your may ascend forever. There is never a need to come down again. You don’t need to have the blood if you stay risen. The sustenance is necessary only to come back to earth. Of course the masses fear death and the unknown which I am, for most don’t understand that they will be continually re-born until they gather the all knowledge.”

“All knowledge, bullshit! You talk in riddles–you say you are not a vampire, but you take blood for life, so that you may live. That pretty much sums up being a vampire as far as I know. How can you say it’s for good? God, you cannot take another’s life and be good. You are NOT God! As much as I know you’re one fucked up individual escaped from some mental institution suffering from delusions of bloodlusts and I don’t like where that puts me. Are you going to take my life, my blood? Because forget it, I’m not giving it to you. I’ve got a life to live here. I thought I loved you, God Dammit! But you’re fucking crazy. Listen to me closely,” my voice sounded strange and far away, “I don’t want what you think you have to offer!”

“Miranda, you’re upset. I can see that. I never intended to hurt you. Only if you ask me to will I take away your life. You’ve been grateful before. Right here, right now I thought you were ready to come with me. I’ve tried to be gentle and take it slow. But still you disbelieve. Well, I’m sorry. But I have tasted your blood and you have tasted mine and you will not rest in this life again. You will call to me someday. It is the way it will be. I truly thought you were ready, but I can see you still have questions to be answered. You have already started to change. When was the last time you ate?”

I thought for a moment and could not recall actually eating anything since the candy before going to the club Sunday night.

“You fed me at your house.”

“I quenched your eternal thirst. From the blood in my own veins I did feed you. You will survive on that for a very long time. I am old and I am strong. I will wait for your call. But for now I am gone.” Then he left my apartment.

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