Nights on the Soul©

We awoke not too much later. Both of us sort of shook with a start as a flock of seagulls cawed overhead. I felt rested and rejuvenated though hardly an hour had passed. Shows how little sleep one can do with, if the actual sleeping is quality oriented. Dave said he often took short naps to restore his body and mind to full energy by concentrating on the rest period to provide that exact result.

“Hungry?”

“Starved!”

We headed off down the road, any road as there was no particular destination, and fueled up on coffee and donuts, then took care of the car, checked the oil, tires, filled up the gas tank.

I sat contentedly watching Dave’s driving expertise. I didn’t care where we were going, as long as I was with him.

“You know, Dave. I feel like our meeting was destiny. Like we were truly meant for each other.”

“No, that’s not true. Listen to me, Miranda, nothing is meant to happen. Everything just happens. But it happens the way you want it to at a particular time. Because you think it into being. But you do this only for yourself as I do it for myself. And at this particular moment our thought processes happen to have collided.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “It still seems like fate to me.”

“Miranda, it’s anything but fate. Believe me, it’s pure manifestation.”

“Do you truly expect me to believe that you thought me into being in your life?”

“I’ve dreamt about you all my life, kiddo, don’t disbelieve it or I might disappear.”

“Dave, I can’t imagine being without you already. I’ve been waiting for someone like you my whole life, you’re the one.”

“Yeah, the one. Our lives have just begun. I drift into the sun, the tangled web is spun.”

“Dave, you’re funny.”

“Ha, ha! I am.”

The warm breeze of the morning air felt good on my skin. I let my mind flit about unfettered by any philosophies about life and love with this young man called Dave. I focused on the green trees, the wind, the road passing underneath. It wasn’t very long before I saw signs directing us to the Everglades National Park. I felt childlike excitement at the prospect of sharing nature with Dave.

We drove past the information center, it seemed Dave didn’t like maps or information directing his motion. He moved purely by instinct. It proved a good enough way to get around and obviously worked for him. We passed a large picnic area and several parked cars. Dave stationed his vehicle near the beginning of a trail.

We walked through dried grass and bush, peanut shoots and palm trees. Turning down a side path we came across rows of rotting wooden benches and an abandoned stage. Crumbling stepping stones led up to this, bunches of grass were sprouting out of any available crack. The dirt sides of the built up stage were blowing away to dust after years of wind and storms.

“Wow, this is cool,” I yelled. “Look Dave, I’m an actress! That’s right my lords and ladies, I’m a Shakespearean Actress. All the world’s a stage, the men and women merely players … uh, I can’t remember the rest.” I kidded around on stage for awhile as Dave sat down next to the benches on the grass chiming in here and there with bits of Shakespeare and other remembered fragments from high school drama.

“This place is great! I guess nobody ever comes here much since it’s all falling apart, but I love it! It’s so quaint and somehow lost and lonely in all its forgottenness.”

“Miranda, you look lovely on that stage. Like you belong there. Perhaps you were in the theatre in a past life. “

All of a sudden I got dizzy standing there in the hot sun. I struggled to keep my eyes open, but they stubbornly wanted to shut. Quick, flashing visions of a man and woman embracing under a street lamp, dressed in heavy wool coats. Another time, another place. He is kissing her luxuriously, she is lightheaded with the ecstasy of his sweet motions. He nibbles her ear teasingly, bites the tendrils of hair falling alongside her neck. He licks his lips, sucks deeply upon her flesh. The pressure imposed is deliciously painful. She cries out in happiness and he smiles in the dark night as he aims to take her forever.

I find myself standing rigid, still, in the center of the stage, my eyes clenched tightly closed, my fingernails digging into my palms. Dave is resting his head on his crossed arms propped over a bench. His eyes are also closed, but in a contented peaceful manner. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I feel so tense, but I shake myself out of it, or at least try.

I carefully exit the stage, trying to keep steady on the bits of rock. I figure I must just be tired after an almost sleepless night. I am happy in my soul when I am near this man. I think I’m in love.

I lay down on a bench by him. My shirt rides up to leave my belly bare, it feels good to have the whiteness exposed to a warm sun. I look up into the perfectly clear blue sky and feel close to God. The beauty of this natural haven inspires my heart and I hear myself humming, the tune ever changing to keep up with the birds flying about.

A chunk of something lands on my tummy and Dave is giggling boyishly as he throws wood chips at me. I consider throwing them back, but secretly delight in the attack.

All is peaceful and the world seems a pleasant place to be. I like living here, it’s better than some dark and gloomy planet too far away from our sun and moon and stars to have any fun.

A small pile of wood and dirt has accumulated on my stomach as Dave continues in his newly chosen pastime. I lie languidly, taking in pleasure as the chips go thump.

“You know, Dave, I think it’s just fine to be in love. I think it’s a feeling you gotta love. I mean, it makes me happy and isn’t that what it’s all about?”

“I’d say yeah. But you know what else? OK, yes, I love you. I can say this easily and truthfully, wholly and happily. But I love all beings. I love all things that allow me to exist. I love the trees, and the long roads to everywhere, little houses tucked in the backwoods, buildings that touch the sky, and God. God, I love God.”

“Dave, you are so earnest. It’s unbelievable that a guy could be so sweet. I don’t ever want to leave you. I know I could learn so much from you.”

“You could learn a lot from yourself, Miranda. You have to. You’re the only one who can, ever really teach yourself so you’ll know. You have to experience the learning and then you will know. Just so you know…”

“Oh, Dave, how can you have it all so together? Sometimes life seems OK and I’m just sort of alive and getting by as normal. Then sometimes I feel so lost and insignificant in this big bad world. I don’t always know where I’m going but I’m always trying so damned hard to get there.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice with this living business. And I find its best not to take anyone’s advice but your own. If you clear your head of others’ input and think of what’s right for you, the thoughts that come in the first twenty seconds are usually your right response for any given situation. You will always make the right decisions that will direct you in the way you need to grow.”

“Well, by your advice I shouldn’t take your advice. But it sounds so good.”

“Miranda, of everything you hear and read and see, there is some truth in it for you. Discard what is not true and there you are.”

“You sound so worldly and wise when you say things like that. I feel like you know so much and I want that too. I just don’t know where to begin.”

“There is no beginning, sweetie. There is only today. There is only now. This moment. You and I are together now and it’s beautiful. You are everything I ever dreamed of today.”

“What do you mean?”

“This morning on the beach I mused I was in love with the most beautiful young lady, we’d been separated many times before, but after much waiting, sorrow, and learning, we were ready to be together again. And alas, it has come to pass.”

“I’m so happy Dave!”

“Then you have what you want. As it should be. Keep that feeling and bless it and send it out to the cosmos so all can hear of it and believe that true happiness exists today. And it’s all worth it.”

“Oh, yes it is! I never thought I’d meet someone as incredible as you!”

“But, Miranda, do not forget it is not I who makes you happy, but yourself allowing yourself to be so. So allow yourself to stay there. Today is bliss. That’s all you need to know.”

“Yes, I agree. Do you want to play in that tall grass over there?”

And so off we went romping around like children, as children are free to have fun without inhibitions and most any suggestion is fun anyway. I felt like playing a lot with Dave. We got awfully dirty that day in the Everglades. Dave taught me to love dirt, revel in it. There was such joy to the actual feel of the dirt as to inspire volumes on the touch and feel of grit between two bodies. Dave was the sort of person to make one appreciate dirt. He shoved it in my mouth and matted my hair with it. Man, it was gritty. Man, it was great. His gameness for games goaded me into doing anything. It was like competition. Who could play hardest? Live for the moment. As it should be.

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