Nobody loves the same. And especially not me. I allow the interior pain and mental torture to exist when I think of the past. Of Dave. My entire being cries out to that man. I try to keep myself above that deep black pool of loneliness. Keep myself conscious of reality. I can hide my dark colors, but never again will I lose my own mind. Of course, now there is no one else who could tempt me. I have slain the devil of his memory to keep my mind. It is all I have now. How good it is to truly feel. Even though the pain is great as it tears my soul. I wish to hide again and again and again. I smoke another cigarette. Life is infinitely painful, but it’s mine and I can feel it. I always used to look towards the future. Today I do not look to tomorrow. I do not wish for more of today, more days like this, struggling to forget the past. The scars on my body are not as bad as those on my mind. Both shall never let me forget the one I loved. The one called Dave. My room grows dark, the smoke from my cigarette illumined by its own cherry with each deep drag. I’ve gotten through another day. But now it’s ripe for the night to tear at my heart, if not my head.
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