I am a person. I am myself and that is all I need ever be. That is my purpose on this planet, in this existence. It is to live. Not to die a million deaths. But to live, one life, fulfilled. I do not yet know what to do with this life I’ve been given. But time is the answer to the future. I am slowly learning patience, a necessary skill, I think, of survival. I do not understand so much. I try and I think I do. And then I don’t. Life seems so painful when you realize that everything is nothing. It just is. There is no purpose in life, there is just life. Why does that seem so sad? Why does there have to be something more?
There has to be love, right?
Looking into the mirror I cannot escape myself. I am there. I am living. I will not go away.
I sent Dave away. To a peace I imagined he relished. Life … an irrational thought.
Love … even more so.
Before, I believed in safety in numbers. Now I’m craving my privacy, but before I get it I must cut off all the emotions I went through with the real world.
The past is over. I know I must give it up completely for the future to start. Presently I shall cover the mirror with its’ black shawl and crawl into bed.
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