It was time to leave the park. It was not time by the clock. We’d spent hours wandering the various paths. Dave wanted to rent a canoe, but I begged off for fear of alligators. I swear that man was not afraid of anything. And that’s the truth. I was tired after a full day in the sun, what with all of our friendly exertion. Dave pulled me along at the end until I guess he tired of tugging. So, it was time to go.
He started skipping and singing in an elf-like voice, “We’re off to drive back to Tampa. The most wonderful city you ever saw. I hear it is the jewel in the crown to the lovely state of Florida!â€
I laughed hard at this, for one can get a bit bored with an area one has been living in for a long time. Dave offered me a fresh look at my city of choice. I felt, however, that he was probably not bored in any place he found himself.
I offered to drive, but he refused, saying he still wasn’t tired. We grabbed french fries with cheese and cokes from a food stand and off we were on the road again. I looked through the selection of music and picked out ‘The Ocean Blue,’ sweet mellow tunes. As my eyelids got heavy, I asked Dave if he’d mind my laying down. I’d planned to curl up on the front seat, but as I was lowering into position he guided my head to his lap where I rested gently. The power of human touch is incredible and necessary for health. The side of my face felt warm and secure upon Dave’s leg. The contact of bodies, however innocent, made my mind soar. And though the actions were soothing indeed, I could only concentrate on this man’s body so close to mine. I wanted to reach out and hold onto his leg and never let go of this presence that was starting to guide my thoughts, this force that could easily be my life.
I turned my head and looked up at Dave as he drove. The view from below was a bit strange. I could see the iris of his eyes darting from side to side. Sometimes they would be focused straight ahead. At times they shot back and forth as if in fast motion. It seemed I could stare forever at his beautiful face, the fullness of his long dark lashes, the distinct lines of his cheekbones, his mass of hair held back by a red bandanna.
I thought to myself – I love this man. I do! I do! I do! I could never love another more. He is my soul mate, my twin fire, the other half of my being. Thank God for bringing him into my life. Already I cannot imagine living without him. It would be worse than death.
Spark—the thought of an old friend’s wisdom entered my brain. You can never truly depend on anyone, repeat, anyone! Other than yourself. Not parents, friends, children, lovers. Ultimately, we are all alone in this world. The only relation we have to others is through our experience of like events. Placing your dependence on another person is unfair to both parties, it is likened unto death, for how can one live when events are vicariously pursued for anothers benefit or approval?
O.K., so he’s just another guy. And why must I place bets on the possible length of our relationship? Go with the flow. Que sera, sera.
Platitudes.
Oh, hell. This is love. Hell. Love.
***