my kind of life
There is no time to time today
All my feelings swept away
Fingertips tender touch I play
Haven’t got a lot to say
Pulling vines out of my hair
Making rhymes without a care
Floating visions transcend air
Shining faces ever fair
Moments I anticipate
Golden eggs they dissipate
Forgotten words of sin and hate
Forever blessed and never late
I’m falling out of bed over you
I turn and yearn instead for you
I’ll make myself undressed for you
I’ve got an alligator crush over you
Feign then what’s by a decent tact believed
And act that state is only so conceived,
And build an edifice to form
For house where phantoms my keep warm.
Imagine, then, by miracle, with me,
(Ambiguous gifts, as what gods give must be)
What could not possibly be there,
And learn a style from a despair.
Moonlight
Splattered tight
across my body’s distance
I cannot escape
this futile race
or ponderous existance
TIME
moves on
without my grace
and even make me
Question?
O why O why encompass space
of mindless wallowing frustration?
She
cuts him deep
and deeper still
Payback nights
of listless ill
Feigned delight
A wondrous sight
The lover’s heart I keep
Soon she’ll sigh
morning’s come
a brush goodbye
Old letters from
a forgotten lie
Reminds me some
I left your name
Out on the street
You felt the same
So why’d we meet?
Embrace the pain
Your foul retreat
Erase the game
Steal the rain
Remain this way
Alone again
Alone again
again
Fading light pours low
over the frail white hand
Her touch is frigid
Her eyes stare, glassy
Barely watching, a word, you say
Senses immune
She forgets
the seeds she has sown
The tears keep falling
Endless rush
Like a gloomy river
running nowhere
Coming, coming
But never going
Moment to moment
I pass the time
Collecting the drops
Wondering
As the fires of day grow dim
The light of the moon lies low
Calling to the undead
Screaming from below
I awake with an evil start
And slowly open my eyes
In answer to your thoughts
I hear my own self cry
Pushing through the darkness
Digging toward fresh air
Zombies have to put up with things
like bugs in long dead hair
I walk with joy and freedom
While you afraid with pain
Crawl away to solitude
And wipe away my name
My time to live is lost
Once again I’m lying deep
Inside the ground that holds me tight
Bleeding in my sleep
I am so lucky. I have a husband who works hard for our family. I have two healthy, beautiful daughters who are a joy to me, even when I am so tired I could cry. I have a home that is my fortress. I have God on my side. I am blessed. I think realizing this every day is important. I don’t want to take what I have for granted. I have not always been so lucky. It is my husband, John Mark, who has given me the life of my dreams, and God who gave us to each other. Though I am currently mothering two young children and am certainly the most exhausted I have ever been in my life, I am grateful every day for the opportunity to be so tired. I am striving to stay in balance. I am working on my addiction to caffeine. I am working on my attitude. I am working on my faith. And I am so lucky. I am so blessed. Thank you, God. Thank you, John Mark.
Today while running errands, I drove past a man on the street wearing a shirt that said “All Hope is Lost”. My first reaction was sadness. Because if there are people out there with no hope, something bad is bound to happen. Then I realized I am probably just old. I bet it is a band or something. I am just not hip enough to know about it. I wonder if all those past years when I thought I was so cutting edge are back to haunt me, middle aged, married, mom of two? In my youth, I did seek to provoke, thoughts at least, with my industrial music t-shirts for bands like Skinny Puppy, The Revolting Cocks, and Meat Beat Manifesto. Now with kids of my own, I imagine I’d be horrified if they wore sporting something of the sort. So if there is a band out there called All Hope is Lost, I am sorry, but I wouldn’t listen to you. Perhaps this is close minded. As I’ve gotten older I can’t waste my time with depressing music. It’s why I don’t watch horror movies anymore or read scary books. I’m about to give up on the news, it is so negative. I am certainly more selective with the short amount of time I have here on earth to spend. I choose to spend it wisely on things that make me happy. I have great amounts of hope for the world. When you have kids you are definitely hoping for a wonderful future for them. In the midst of this “Disaster in the Gulf” news coverage, I am hoping for a positive bent to the story, somehow we will recover and move on. Yes, it is horrible and will be for some time, but it is not the end of the world, so let’s talk about “Recovery in the Gulf”. So many people are so negative about so many things, I want a positive aspect instead. You could never make me lose my hope, but possibly this is because I have faith.
This is a story about a very special love. There was a young girl named Philomena. She was happy and carefree. But quite lonely, for she was ignorant of the joys of love. One day when she was out walking in the woods, she found a lone tree that stood away from the rest. Now this tree was different from all the others, it was tall and very thin. And it was so sad, and dying because no one loved it. Philomena thought how beautiful the tree was, even in its suffering. There was something special about it. Every day for a month and a half Philomena visited the tree. She brought flowers to lay at its trunk. And she talked to the tree, and sang to the tree, and played her harp for the tree. Soon the tree began to lift its weary limbs. The tree started to look to the sky with happiness. Then, on a cold December day, when Philomena came to see the tree, an incredible thing happened. By the will of nature, now strong with life, the tree’s branches reached out to the girl and caressed her cheek. She was so amazed and moved with emotion that she hugged the tree and closed her eyes and kissed it. And when she opened her eyes it was to stare into a pair of deep brown eyes, looking intently at her own light blue. The tree had transformed into the body of a man, reflecting the tree’s own image in long, rather fragile arms and legs, bending with the wind. The man was dressed in a black velvet cloak and plumed hat. He bore on his smallest finger a gold signet ring, which showed he was a prince. He immediately professed his fathomless love for the one who had broken the curse of sadness in which he was bound. The prince kissed Philomena and swept her away to tell the world of his undying love. He gave her a long white dress and made her his queen. They were prince Tomas and Queen Philomena. The girl is a woman now and they live in a grand stone castle in a lost forest. The winters are frosty and the snow falls and turns their forest white. In the spring their garden blooms with a phantasm of color from their tremendous variety of flowers. And every tree in the glade is happy and well loved. And the prince and his queen are the happiest couple on earth, for their love bloomed from kindness.